The Semester I Felt Left Behind

Written by Alondra Rivas-Jimenez

How I Found Purpose in a Semester That Didn’t Look “Impressive” on Paper 

I didn’t realize how loud silence could feel until I went a semester without an internship, and everyone around me seemed to be announcing one. 

It wasn’t that I didn’t value professional experience. In fact, the semester before, I had done everything right — or at least everything I thought I was supposed to. I stacked my schedule with classes, held an internship, and worked up to fifteen hours a week. I told myself this was what ambitious students did. This was how you “get ahead.” 

What it really gave me was exhaustion I mistook for ambition, and a level of burnout I didn’t even have the heart to acknowledge. 

When the next semester approached, I had to choose: take on another internship I couldn’t afford to give my best to, or prioritize work and financial stability. I decided what I needed was a part-time job and a life that didn’t collapse under the weight of my commitments. The choice never felt as empowering as it sounds. It felt like stepping off a moving train and watching everyone else speed ahead without me. 

The Loneliness of Feeling “Left Behind” 

The hardest part wasn’t the decision itself. It was the stillness after. 

The beginning of a new semester is when everyone’s LinkedIn feeds are flooded with “I’m thrilled to share…” internship announcements and updates that collect dozens of likes and supportive comments. I’d scroll through them with genuine happiness for my peers — but that happiness lived right next to a sinking feeling in my chest. 

Meanwhile, what I had felt invisible — “just” a job, not something that sounded impressive or future-forward — I told myself it shouldn’t matter. I told myself I was working to support myself, and that was something to be proud of. But even the most rational explanations can’t always quiet the voice that whispers: You’re falling behind. 

The Internship That Didn’t Give Me What I Expected 

Part of the emotional weight came from the fact that I had done an internship before. I had “checked the box.” But instead of feeling accomplished, I carried something more complicated: regret that I hadn’t been able to experience it fully. 

Financial stress loomed over everything. Even as I completed internship tasks, my mind was doing math. How many hours did I need to work this week to cover my groceries? My necessities? My portion of rent? Was I falling behind financially just to keep up professionally? People often talk about internships like they’re a golden ticket: access, experience, opportunity. While that’s true for many, it’s not the whole story for students who are working-class, financially independent, or supporting their households. It’s hard to absorb the value of an opportunity when survival is competing for the same mental space. 

Choosing Yourself Still Counts as Progress 

Walking into a semester without an internship forced me to sit with questions I had been avoiding: Who was I doing all of this for? Was I chasing opportunities because they aligned with my goals or because I was afraid of being left behind? 

Quiet semesters taught me something I don’t think I would have learned if I’d stayed in motion. Internships can be valuable, but they are not the only form of progress. Growth doesn’t only happen when it’s branded, titled, or postable. 

Sometimes progress looks like: 

• Honoring your limits 
• Choosing financial stability 
• Protecting your mental health 
• Learning what type of environment you thrive in 
• Knowing when to say, “Not right now.” 

What I Did Instead and Why It Still Mattered 

Not having an internship didn’t mean I had nothing to show for that semester. Working has taught me resilience, responsibility, communication, and time management in ways no internship has. I also learned to listen to myself. I spent more time with friends. I allowed myself to rest when I needed to. I learned how to exist without constantly trying to prove something. 

The Lesson I Didn’t Expect to Learn 

I had to unlearn the belief that my worth is tied to productivity or prestige. I had to understand that an internship is not the only measure of readiness for the future. I had to accept that taking care of myself doesn’t mean I’m less serious about my goals. 

If anything, it means I’m more in tune with them. 

Career paths are not linear, and the most sustainable ones rarely are. The pressure to constantly be “on the move” overlooks the reality that growth often requires periods of rest. If every moment is about preparing for the next one, when do we actually live in the present? 

For Anyone in Their Own Quiet Semester 

If you’re in a semester when you don’t have the impressive update to share — like the internship, the accolades, the shiny new step. I want you to hear this: 

You are not behind. 

You didn’t fail. You didn’t make the wrong choice. You’re not less ambitious or less capable than the people who happened to be in a different season than you.